Beyond acceptance. Learning to love ourselves and the things (like skin picking) that we don't love.
Someone in my writing group gave me a far-out book to read. Called The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: How my Bad-Boy Brother Proved to Me There's Life After Death, it was fascinating and beautiful and prodded me to think about things in a different way.
The book was written by a woman whose older brother was a lifelong drug addict. Life on earth didn't end well for him, but soon after his death she began to hear him talk to her, insisting she write his words in a notebook he had given her when he was alive. And wow, did he have some things to say.
The gist of it, whether you believe this literally or not, is that earth is a very difficult material plane where we forget that beyond (where we come from and where we go after) is pure love. Interestingly, Billy didn't have to perfect himself by incarnating again and "trying harder next time" to overcome his addiction. It was his last lifetime and he had come for the experience and ultimately with the purpose to bring love from beyond to people here on earth through this book.
At one point he mentions how self-love is more than self-acceptance, because acceptance implies you "accept" something you perceive as negative, but you don't love it. I know this is radical, but... these things that we find difficult to accept, or even that we do merely accept, are these not the things that are most in need of love? That are completely bereft of love?
Or at the least, compassion, if that is an easier word to swallow.
Join me in an exercise:
1) Write 10 or more things you love (or at least like) about yourself. It doesn't matter what. Chances are you don't think about them much, but it's nice to think about, isn't it? We spend so much time thinking about what's "wrong" rather than what's "right", that it's nice and important too to recognize what we appreciate about ourselves.
2) Write 10 things you don't love about yourself. That you may dislike, hate to think about, possibly even hate.
3) What did you notice? Can you see the things in part 2 as being in need of love? Can you send them some love or compassion? Look at them in a softer way than how you are accustomed?
I just now did the exercise myself. What I noticed from part 1 is how many things I have taken for granted lately and almost completely forgotten about. In doing part 2, I noticed that those are the qualities that are most human, while my part 1 qualities you could say are more "godly" - they seem to be some good qualities I came in with or at least that come relatively easily to me. Part 2 things are more long-term struggles. I view them and remind myself gently that it's ok not to be perfect; that is the human condition.
It is not easy being human! Let’s remember this and have some compassion for ourselves, which also translates into compassion for others. Through loving ourselves, the world will be a more beautiful place.
I wish you blessings of love and compassion,
Annette
p.s. Have you downloaded my free "Freedom Kit"? It comes with a written and audio report, "Why you pick your skin and how to finally stop," a video on "how to stop skin picking urges in two minutes flat," and my "Live Free" newsletter in your inbox each month. Learn more here.