What you need to succeed in the new year
Are you like me, how I used to start every New Year with a resolution to stop picking my skin? And then how every year success would be out the window by January 2nd, if not the 1st?
You're not alone, no matter what your New Year's resolution. According to an article in the Journal of Clinical Psychology only 8% of people are successful at achieving their resolution, regardless of the difficulty of their resolution. And not picking (or not doing similar body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRB's) such as hair pulling or nail biting) is very difficult
But the difficulty of the resolution is not why people fail to keep it.
Why do people fail at new year's resolutions?:
1) They have no viable, realistic plan.
or
2) They have no support or accountability system in place when their initial excitement and motivation wanes.
So, let's say your resolution is to stop skin picking. We'll look at 1) and 2) above in that context.
1) Do you have a viable, realistic plan? First let's ask if your goal is realistic in the first place. Even though you may want to do zero picking, it's NOT realistic to think you can have a skin picking problem and then suddenly stop. For most of us, it takes several strategies and a process of learning to implement them over time. It is more realistic to expect a gradual decrease of the behavior as you learn what you need to continue to improve. And it's usually a two-steps forward, one-step back sort of improvement. Slip-ups and setbacks are inevitable for almost everyone. The important thing is to keep trying and not be discouraged.
2) Do you have support and accountability? Part of the whole cycle most skin pickers are in is that every time they have a setback, they get discouraged and lose hope that they can ever overcome the vicious cycle of picking. It's too hard to do on your own. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to be in touch with someone who has been there and recovered. This person can mirror hope onto you, giving you the hope and encouragement you need when you don't have it, because they know it can be done. I personally have seen dozens of skin pickers recover and reclaim their lives
You will also need this person to hold you accountable. Throughout a coaching program, I figure out and know what you need to do at each stage. I give you one or two or three small specific steps to work on at home between each coaching session. Then I check in with you next time. Did you do those specific things? Chances are, if you've committed time and money to enroll in a coaching program and you know we'll be meeting again in a week or two, you'll follow my specific recommendations. Simple small steps over time add up. And clients who follow my recommendations are thrilled with their resulting success. (Read their success stories.)
If stopping skin picking has been a New Year's resolution for you every year, what can you do differently now to ensure that THIS will be the year you break free of the vicious cycle?
Again, what won't work: Make "no picking" your New Year's resolution and then rely on nothing but willpower.
You need knowledge, you need support, you need accountability. You need at least the first steps of a plan. Even if you don't know all the steps you need to take, at least think up and write down your next step and take action.
In my opinion, the best thing you can do is 1) commit to yourself that you will do what it takes even if you don't know what that entails yet, and 2) contact me for a free introductory session to discuss your picking, what you need to recover and to learn about a personalized coaching program.
Love and support,
Annette
p.s. Have you downloaded my free "Freedom Kit"? It comes with a written and audio report, "Why you pick your skin and how to finally stop," a video on "how to stop skin picking urges in two minutes flat," and my "Live Free" newsletter in your inbox each month. Learn more here.